When the Scots get cold........

40 degrees:

Californians shiver uncontrollably

People in Scotland sunbathe

35 degrees:

Italian cars won't start

People in Scotland drive with the windows down

20 degrees:

Floridians wear coats, hats and gloves

People in Scotland throw on a T shirt

15 degrees:

Californians begin to evacuate the state

People in Scotland go swimming

Zero degrees:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat

People in Scotland have the last barbecue before it gets cold

10 degrees below zero:

People in Miami cease to exist

People in Scotland lick flagpoles

20 degrees below zero:

Californians fly away to Mexico

People in Scotland throw on a light jacket

80 degrees below zero:

Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic

Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival classes until it gets cold enough

100 degrees below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole

People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps

173 degrees below zero:

Ethyl alcohol freezes

People in Scotland get frustrated when they canae thaw their bottles of Buckie

297 degrees below zero:

Microbial life starts to disappear

Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands

460 degrees below zero:

ALL atomic motion stops

People in Scotland start saying, Chilly. You cauld an aw?

500 degrees below zero:

Hell freezes over

Scottish people support England in the World Cup